We’ve taken inspiration from the third floor attic scene of the hugely successful 1990’s holiday film and jazzed it up a wee bit. What if a reboot of the film series was made in a futuristic world where Artificial Intelligence replaced practically everything on the face of the Earth?! How would that be? Watch out Hollywood, we’re going to rock your box-office with this baby!
I wish my family would just disappear.
Ouch! My head hurts. And I just had the strangest dream last night…! How long have I slept here? Achooo! Gosh, this attic is dusty! I think I’m gonna go look for mom…
“Mom? Dad? Buzz?”
“Hello? Where is everybody?”
“Mom, it’s Christmas Eve! You promised pancakes with strawberries for breakfast! Mom?!!”
Maybe they’re all asleep. Or maybe Buzz passed out in my bedroom. Hmm, he should be awake by now, it’s 10 am. Hey, that’s funny - how is my room, locked?!
I turn in the key and slightly twist the knob to open the door. “Buzz?” No answer. I scan my room - the bed is turned down, all the sheets are neatly folded and my room is clean! My room is clean! It’s never been clean for ages! And there’s no sign of Buzz - all I can see is his pet tarantula, Fangs in his cage. Fangs should know where Buzz is! Wait, what? Spiders can’t speak human! God, what is wrong with me today?! What happened last night and where is everybody?
I wish my family would just disappear.
There was a storm last night. I heard winds, rain and something snapped. I look outside the window - the electricity lines that run between ours and old man Marley’s seem to have fallen… Could it be? Nah! That couldn’t have happened! It’s just something I said and besides wishes don’t and can’t come true… They can’t right?
I check Mom and Dad’s room - it’s all the same, except that the bed’s neatly done and there’s no sign of them. Not in the kitchen nor the garage.
I wish that my family would just disappear.
I take a little breath before I say this next thing, out loud…
“I wish — I wish that my family would just disappear!” “YAY!”
Now I can spray string candy all over the house! Pillow fight with myself! Eat chips straight out of the packet! Jump on the bed! Watch TV all night! Yaaaaaay! Wait a minute, first I’m going to shave and have a shower - like a man. Hey, shaving is fun! Dad always says after shave keeps the skin looking healthy - why don’t I try some! There, I’ll just dab it on my skin — AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! It burns! Ow, ow, wash if off! Wash it off!! Ok so, I am never doing that again! So, shave - done, shower - done, feeding Fangs - done. Now I’m going to make myself some breakfast. Coco pops and milk sounds great! (After ten minutes of practically chugging down the bowl), breakfast - done!
“Tring. Tring. Tring”
That’s odd. It’s not the telephone. It’s coming from Dad’s office room. “Tring. Tring. Tring”
It’s coming from his computer!
“ALLT. Reminder: Pack extra socks for flight” “Your have 4 pending tasks Mr. McCallister. Finish them and check these off your list”
Hmm, must be something Dad uses while at work. I wonder what it does…
“ALLT. One place where you can manage all of your company’s work. Property of A.I Inc., used by Peter McCallister”
So this Allt seems like a fun thing to use.
“ALLT. Set reminders, assign tasks, upload files, save links and have discussions.”
Why would Dad want to use this anyway? I mean, he can’t even do his tie properly! Mom always has to do that for him! 😅
What if I use Allt? Maybe I should give it a try… Let me set a reminder. “Feed Fa - where is the n on this keyboard?! Oh yeah, N! Fangs. Feed Fangs - 4pm. Buy toothbrush. Make dinner. Hang up the fairy lights”
“Your reminder is set for 4pm Mr. McCallister” , said a dialogue box that popped up on the screen. Yep, I set reminders, now I’m a businessman too! I’m already a better manager than you can be Dad!
Now, what next? I’ve already showered, changed, eaten, gone crazy and now I’m sufficiently exhausted!
“What time is it?” I think aloud - wow, its evening already. I think I’m going to go to the grocer’s to buy that toothbrush.
I reach for the door, open it, and a cold wind gushes inside! I close it as fast as I open it and I step outside, catching my breath. I can make snowflakes with my breath right now!
“Brrrrrrrr… Its cold! But there’s not too much snow this Christmas Eve. But its still cold!” Brrrrrrrrrrrrr… Heeeeeey who’s tru — truck is that parked at the Andersonssssss? “I’ve never seeeeeen this truck beforeeeeeeee”, I chatter as I walk past the big red and black truck.
Maybe it’s the cleanersssssss, I assure myself deciding that I’m just going to make a run for the grocery store.
This is Part #1 of the two-part series of Home Alone - Alltered version.